2 lives != 2 selves

Two lives left in Super Mario Bros. Copyright Nintendo Co., Ltd.

Two lives left in Super Mario Bros. Copyright Nintendo Co., Ltd.

Every day and every night the words flow. Sometimes like autumn leaves in the wind, sometimes like summer stones in a pond, but always, absolutely always, they flow.

Microsoft calls. The truth-seeker, the engineer, he answers that call. And those words? Those beautiful, erratic words, often crafted with heart and stitched from a soul… They stop.


We writers, we aspiring writers, lead two lives: The bread-maker, the one who commutes somewhere then comes home to a precious child; and the story teller, whose mind wanders when tickled by words, an image, a person, even sound.

I live two lives, but I am one mind. One soul and one heart, furiously coursing through flesh, sometimes dozing calmly in thought.

Between code reviews, a colleague recounts her dragon boat race (yes, fellow dwellers of the third planet from the Sun: that’s a thing). After a gruesome architecture review, another complains about the term ‘oracle’ when describing a map file. I participate, I am enthralled. I love, love, love the discussion, but the hero under the helmet begins to wander. The embers of imagination ignite. Hysteria’s drums collide, and bang, and trill, and hiss. The engineer dozes off and the story maker… The story maker thirsts war.

What am I to do but collapse the self?

My intern Julia, newest engineer joining the clan, started five weeks ago. The infamous intro. mail taunts me from the drafts folder; old and dusty, and forgotten. My fingertips find both Shift and Delete. I press to the sound of a satisfying clack, toss the bread and re-write Julia’s call to adventure.

And my Microsoft brethren?

They love it (except Joe).

‘The most dramatic intern introduction in the history of intern introductions,’ according to one particularly cool cat (much cooler than Joe).

Dare to dream awake while engineering away. Dare to mix reality and play. Julia and I hope you like it too.

MIXED REALITY


“Rooooooooow!” Captain Kari’s voice boomed over the crashing waves of an angry ocean. She was a commanding woman, athletic and fit, but blessed with generous, compassionate eyes. “As one, my Vikings; like we trained at the Englishmen’s river Charles!” Toned arms swayed a shield made of hide. Eighteen ashen-colored oars followed, cutting into sea foam with a trance-like rhythm.

“Easy for heeer… to say. Standing hiiiiigh and mighty while weee-eah… do all the work,” said Torben to the empty seat beside him. The clan’s fleet had suffered many losses during the Wihotum War. Most dragon boats lost men, but on the Winklef, men had lost… something more.

“I see it! I see it up ahead,” the captain said, tumbling closer to the warship’s bow. Her head always hung low when walking, as if weighed down by an invisible helmet, or forever hiding from enemy’s arrow. “Row faster! Become one with the water like Ægir himself!” Captain Kari’s sword, forged over the molten rock rivers of Gatawoth, pointed to a horizon painted red with twilight. Underneath the sky, an island pierced the clouds with its rocky peaks: five to be exact.

Kari licked her lips in anticipation. Her mind drifted back to those childhood memories falling asleep by the fire, listening to Grandmother Jorunn’s Norse tales. Her favorite story spoke of a child oracle more powerful than the demigod Kustoh, capable of answering unimaginable questions, yet locked away on a secret island. An island believed adorned with exactly five peaks.

The legend had said the god of mischief, Loki, jealous of his niece, planted rotten, deranged copies of the child in four of the five peaks. The captain knew the odds of finding the Oracle were against them, but she would risk everything to help her clan survive the war…

The crunch of wood on wet sand jolted her to the present. Her men disembarked. Tall, crème-colored tents rose into the air. The symbol of a flag divided into four identical squares decorated the chieftain’s quarters, now her quarters. Kari hurried to meet her chiefs but lingered outside, taking one last look at the Winklef. The thick, burgundy sails fell loosely over the blackened wood as if waving goodbye. Kari gifted the dragon boat a half-smile and thundered inside.

“It’s like you predicted, captain,” said a thin, battle-scarred Viking named Jerrik.

“‘Five peaks tower the skies.

 The crimson light makes the Oracle cry.'”

Kari knew the epic’s rhymes by heart.

“How do you suppose an Oracle sounds when it cries?” Jerrik said behind a smirk.

Kari threw back her long, wavy, fiery hair. “The Oracle is a little girl; her appearance no different than a young lass. Be on the lookout for child-like weeping, high-pitched wailing, sobbing, cursing… any human emotion!”

The Viking thought of his own daughter, face sobering with worry. “And Loki’s clones?”

“Captain Kari!” Two Vikings rushed into the scene. One lowered her head in reverence. The other merely stooped to catch his breath. The female, another red-head clad in leather armor, took off her helmet and continued. “Torben and I patrolled the perimeter all the way to the mountain base and-”

Torben straightened his back with a loud groan. Kari gave him a reprimanding look and the hairless, pale Viking scoffed.

“Please continue, Aslaug,” said Jerrik.

“We found these tablets, metal tablets, written in the gods’ language.” Two older men walked inside, carrying thin, cobalt-colored rectangular slabs. They were dressed in long, brown robes fashioned more for temple than war.

“Did you secure all five?”

Aslaug looked perplexed. “Y-yes. Five.”

“And?” Kari said, eying the closest apparatus’ smooth, reflective surface, eyes glinting with thought.

“We cannot decipher them, captain,” mumbled one of the men behind a generous beard darker than night.

“Aren’t you a man of the faith?” Jerrik said, taking a defying step towards Bushy-Beard. “The gods’ scripture is the most basic of your arts.”

“The words we can read, but their meaning… their meaning escapes our wits. Terms like ‘University’, ‘Computer’, ‘Desktop’ and ‘Microsoft’ – they are the baubles of a madman!”

“Kati… errrm… Captain Kari,” Torben said, his voice composed and calm.

Kari opened her eyes wide. She knew these words, yet she could not explain their presence.

Why here?

Why now?

A lone drop of sweat travelled her chin and kissed the ground as she sauntered to the wiseman’s apprentice.

“Milady?” He said, confused as she reached for the tablet and pressed her finger across the cold glass.

“Read it,” said Torben in a demanding tone disrespectful enough Jerrik reached for the hilt of his sword.

Kari Guillhouf, Captain of the Winklef, heir to the Viking clan of Nard, child-prodigy prophesied to stop the Wihotum War, cleared her throat and read:

‘Hi! My name is Julia Kollin and I am from New Jersey. I am a rising senior at the University of Michigan and I am studying Computer Science Engineering.

I was an Explorer Intern last summer for the Remote Desktop team in Redmond and I am looking forward to another amazing summer at Microsoft.

I love to travel (I spent four months living in Copenhagen), try new food, and hang out with friends! I am new to Cambridge/Boston so if anyone has any recommendations of fun places to go or good restaurants, please reach out!’

The device slipped Kari’s sweaty hands and landed with a muted thud as the rest of the rhyme echoed inside her head:

Five peaks tower the skies.

The crimson light makes the Oracle cry.

Hidden behind a treacherous smile;

The mark of the Explorer lies.

The young captain looked from the sand, to the other four tablets, then directly into Torben’s eyes.

He tapped the side of his head twice and mouthed the word ‘Loki’.

“Jerrik,” Kari said, pure fire in her eyes. “Arm the men for war.”

The Viking swallowed, bowed and dashed out, leaving behind a cold wind.

A writer is never alone.

Bionic Commando. Copyright Capcom Co., Ltd.

Bionic Commando. Copyright Capcom Co., Ltd.

Stories, verses and prose decorate all rooms inside the House of Words. Today, we abandon the library for a tale forged over the workshop’s tepid fires. A fable inspired by true events and forever laser-etched behind my blue eyes…


A hot November morning after a humid evening of passing hurricane rain, we gather for English Lit. in one of the academy’s open-air classrooms.

“Come in. Good morning,” Mr. Torres says behind dark-rimmed glasses. “I have a surprise test for you today.”

Forty grumpy teenagers groan. Spanish, both proper and the street’s, travels the green concrete and blasts the aluminum windows.

The girls wear thick, burgundy, two-fingers-below-the-knee-long skirts and matching vests. The boys dress in brown, baggy jeans and white, emblazoned polo shirts. ‘Academia Santa María,’ the embroidery reads.

“Sit down, sit down.” Mr. Torres hurries us along as we drag our feet and exchange concerned glances. “I told you Friday there’d be a test this week.” He taps the forsaken paper stack and gestures to the first chair of each of five rows of creaky, metal desks. “Take one and pass the rest.”

I receive the document and a lone drop of salty dew finds its way underneath my shirt. Ranked #2 in the class, but still human; an impromptu eight-page exam is enough to jingle anyone’s medals.

I look up.

Our teacher, and tormentor, wears his customary blue polo in contrast to the blackboard, still chalked with hieroglyphics from yesterday’s algebra. He nods and offers me a mischievous grin.

“Don’t forget to read the test before you begin.”

I bite off the ballpoint pen’s cap and plaster true or false as fast as my pale, fat fingers allow it. Five minutes in, I turn to Viviana, one of the smarter students, on my left. The tanned girl with wet, curly hair sits cross-legged, paper down, and a half-smile on her face.

“Huh?”

Her brown eyes enlarge just the tiniest when she finds mine. The smile widens. I sweat again, then devour the next six pages so fast I almost start a fire:

‘Describe the theme.’

‘Discuss the protagonist’s conflict.’

‘What is at stake?’

One last swipe and the wretched words beam. Mr. T’s closing statement explains his grin:

‘Write your name, today’s date and place your test face down. I will come to your desk and grade you 100%.

Thank you for following instructions.

Enjoy your day – E. Torres.’

“Maldición,” I say, damning all, and break the pen.

Mr. Torres taught me a life-long lesson that day. And it’s not about following instructions. His advice later solved complex Calculus with me in college. Joined me for many insightful shower thoughts. And debugged crazy-difficult software glitches over a Microsoft desk.

‘You are not alone inside that head.’

The subconscious is a powerful tool. We don’t control the wonderful beast, yet there it is, gifting knowledge, perspective and wondrous creativity. Your brain quietly analyzes all you read and hear and see. Visualizing math problems iterates over memorized equations. Breaking for coffee from buggy code dreams up new threads to follow.

The subconscious even assists with programming interviews. Next time you schedule a field trip to the accursed whiteboard, bring a cup of something, anything. When the interviewer barks, lift the blessed holder of refreshment to your lips and sip. Every conscious micro-moment equals two laps around the Sun of behind-the-scenes computation.

The rule reigns true in creative writing as well. It is the reason many editors, literary agents, writers both published or starving – and published and starving – recommend we ‘Put down the manuscript for a few hours,’ ‘Read another’s book,’ or ‘Let the query letter breathe a week before re-reading the draft.’

Efficient proofreading and editing require perspective. Polishing manuscripts into art requires ruthless perspective. Dean Gloster shares this meaningful quote: “Write without fear; edit without mercy.” Separating ourselves from newborn prose gains us the mythical perspective writers valiantly seek.

Mr. Torres and I never crossed paths again. He was a wise one, that man and his mischievous grin. He was kind too; kind enough to gift me another blank sheet before the other kids discovered his shenanigans. With Viviana’s tip and a teacher’s clemency, little Alvin scored 100%.

Next time your fingertips crawl, or the muse huffs and spits out sand, don’t be hasty. Your brain already read the test. It wrote the damn thing.

Walk away. Try it. Walk away and let the subconscious fill your cup. Then drink and advance with caution, impartial and refreshed, as one with the monster inside your head.


Enjoyed this literary snack and the tropical wisdom in its words? You might also like It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this!

Leave a comment or share with others. Feedback, thoughts and perspective are welcome too.

Hello World, my name is Alvin.

Alvin Chardon circa 2014My father’s spirits walked me across in 1979. The gateway still exists today, buried deep under the sand behind a lemonade stand, crumbling toward time. Humanity received me in an island city named after a Spanish conquistador. Ponce de Leon’s curiosity lingered in the oxygen, propelling my childhood to a life of exploration, experimentation and at the center: A good story.

Racing imaginary friends up the two-story high mango trees in grandma’s backyard. Tinkering with broken electronics laid sprawled on the cement floor. Programming ancient computers in the den while whistling the Back to the Future theme. Hands-on hobbies always reigned at the Chardon House. The media fed us spacefaring 80s, radical and robotic 90s and the occasional  fantastical kingdom. Throw in 12 years of old-fashioned Catholic schooling at Academia Santa María and the Republic of Alvin began to crack. To this day, my diplomats still discuss the juxtaposition of Noah and Darwin over plantain chips and rum, stooped over miniature tables and ganglion chairs. I didn’t entirely crack… I think.

University of Puerto Rico Mayagüez admitted me in 1997, a poet still thirsty. Curiosity carried the prose, fueling my imagination with the relentless pursuit of our spiritual Truth inside science. I didn’t find it. El Colegio spit me out a pragmatist, holding two degrees in Electrical and Computer Engineering, and I must confess, algorithms didn’t charm me on the first date.

Don’t pout, Microsoft. Meeting a new craft with denial and disarray is normal. I truly do love my job. I do. The coding gene evolved and this humble simian professionally reviewed two software books in the arts of C# and C++ circa 2007. One New England colleague even screamed I’m wicked pissah at it too. The tech-curious can read about a decade of Microsoft adventures on Linked In.

This blog is about writing.

I wrote a novel, maybe three, to scratch my soul and prove I own the ethereal apparatus. I do not call myself a novelist. Not until NATURAL SELECTION, BOOK 1 of my young adult dark fantasy series CONCEPTION is published. I do indulge the delusion of thinking myself a storyteller.

Stories exist in everything we do. From slurring a pitch to Bill Gates over burgers and wine (and not remembering the topic 10 minutes later); to witnessing your dead great-grandfather, Luis, equip your winter jacket and grab the other shovel. A select few are special. And the special ones carry the gift. For me, realizing mortal life is not always the will of the gods was a hell-of-a gift.

Yes, life’s lemonade tastes bitter, at times downright rancid, but I prefer my citrus concoctions with a pH > 2. I did what great engineers before me did: Fail. And after failure, enjoy a sugary drink, reboot and try again.

I finished that novel. I challenged the gods. And I’ll explain why and how in this,

My House of Words.

For now, I unclench a quote borrowed from my characters to describe the journey:

“I created it… a new World of stolen life, built from your words and mine. Imagined from our dreams and aspirations, crafted with our visions and lack thereof. I made it with light and with darkness, with our children’s smiles and screams and nightmares. I designed it to last, and to not exist at all. And with your unearthly essence, I will power it.”
-The Engineer
Grab that extra chair behind the stand. The Truth is somewhere. We will find it. Be warned: my umbrella is old and rusty. The wind will blow and you may feel a little cold.